ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
