nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Drunk is not a location!
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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