I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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