They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
