this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
