If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize