he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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