ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
