I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
