Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
