I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
They are going to name an STD after you.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
