I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
