I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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