ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
you're hired as official boob wrangler
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
