stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
