i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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