She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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