she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
