I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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