I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
