Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
