I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just threw up on my dentist
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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