It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize