I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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