So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
