Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
