If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
We named our party play list daddy issues
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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