I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
