i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
