Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize