Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
When did angry sex become our thing?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
