is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
