I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Randomize
