Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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