I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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