No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
My vagina is very pro this idea
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