I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
