i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
