why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
