talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
