no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
