Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
