it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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