I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
