Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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