Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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