4 words: hood of his car
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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