I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
