Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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