my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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