We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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