i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize