My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
