But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
