YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
