And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
