Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize