ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
