Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
