I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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