You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
