I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
