dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
