My room smells like vodka and shame
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize