Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
its liver damage thursday
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
