i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We talked him into tasing himself.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize