How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
