a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
