my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
