i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
No subtext here. People are naked.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
