That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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