I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
