Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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