I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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