Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
