you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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